Archive for Short Funny Jokes
October 23, 2008 at 6:56 pm · Filed under Funny Pictures, Short Funny Jokes, work, Cat, jokes, elephant, humor, laughter, release, stress, closed eyes, cow, immune system, natural drug, phone, school, snails
Work, work, work. It has always been about work. Then the next thing you know, you are on your way home, counting bumpers as you are stuck in the jam. This is the routine EVERYDAY, except for the weekends and the once awhile holidays, right? It is always good to give yourself a break, so let’s take a breather and laugh some more!
Cow Stripper
There is one thing about animal comics. They talk and you laugh.
Closed eyes
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
“What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing.”
Snail’s revenge
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there’s a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman “What did you […]
Original post by Pamela
August 25, 2008 at 7:25 pm · Filed under funny, Animal, Health, Short Funny Jokes, duck, baby, dead, jokes, elephant, humor, laugh, emergency, hormones, hunters, insult, laughter, monkey, more, release, stress-free
Laughing is good for health. In fact, studies did show that laughter caused the release of neuroendocrine, which is almost like a natural body “drugs” that makes you “oh-so_happy”! And stress-related hormones actually decreased during episodes of laughter. How about that for a stress-free environment. So laugh more and make it an epidemic! Of course, to laugh, you need a joke or two. How about a few of the funniest jokes around?
Make sure
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make […]
Original post by Pamela
August 11, 2008 at 5:43 pm · Filed under funny, Language, Short Funny Jokes, chinese, jokes, laugh, best, literal, phrase, pronunciation, translate
Learning Chinese is interesting, especially when you translate it. LITERALLY. Try these phrases for fun. I will let you try the first one. Read the Chinese pronunciation as you would, literally.
Ai Bang Mai Ne = I bumped into the coffee table
Get it?
Ai = I
Bang = bang
Mai = my
Ne = knee
Now do you get it? So try the rest and have a good laugh!
Ar U Wun Tu = A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat = You need a face lift
Dum Gai = A stupid person
Gun Pao Der = An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung = Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding = We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun = A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia = Approach me
Lao Zi = Not very good
Lin Ching = An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding = Achievement of the American space […]
Original post by Pamela
July 23, 2008 at 12:06 pm · Filed under Money, Short Funny Jokes, job, increment, salary
One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Marian $hih
The next day, the boss replied the employee:
Dear Marian
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
So there […]
Original post by Maria
July 11, 2008 at 10:00 pm · Filed under funny, Short Funny Jokes, Spelling, laugh, italians, joke, mississippi
I always find geographical terms and names of places are the hardest to spell out. For example, like, the Mediterainians… I mean, Mediteraneans… Again! M-e-d-i-t-e-r-r-a-n-e-a-n-s. Whew…
Then I found a humourous and fun way to remember how to spell “Mississippi” through this joke:
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of
the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this
country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m
just tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
Original post by Pamela
December 5, 2007 at 7:29 pm · Filed under Short Funny Jokes
Got you. I understand sex sells, that’s why the brilliant subject to get you to click. Anyway, do you know why did I say a wife is a sex object? Well, because everytime you ask for sex, she objects!
Hahaha… if you think that has made your day, wait till you laugh over the following brilliant jokes! Don’t worry, they are safe at work, but make sure you lower down your volume!
When I was born, I got a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what I chose.
Read the full post (120 words, 1 image)
Original post by Maria
August 23, 2007 at 7:58 pm · Filed under Short Funny Jokes
A Malaysian named Ah Meng dies and arrives in hell. He finds that there is a different hell for each country and he can choose which hell he wants to go to. He first goes to the Singapore hell. There outside the door is Ah Lian, looking bored. Ah Meng asks, “What do they do here?”
Ah Lian replies, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Singapore devil comes in and whips your butt for the rest of the day.”
“That’s terrible!” gasps Ah Meng. He is terrified! “I’m going to check out the other hells!”, he yells. He checks out the Thailand hell, the Indian hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the Singapore hell. You get […]
Original post by Maria
·
Next entries »
.jpg)